Haiku Revisions

The Village Pipers has asked me to compose some recorder music to accompany some haiku.  So many possibilities!  The summer will allow more time for exploration, but here is a start.  The ideas in haiku can arrive quickly to mind, but playing around with words and phrasing can make the poem sparkle a little more.

Here is a first pass at one poem.

Here is a revision.  I wonder what the final version will look like.